February 14, 2012 •

I’m engaged and yet I’m alone on f*n Valentines Day?!

Yup. So my fiance is still in bed … I took the day from classes to spend it with him and he’s fuck’n sleeping. It’s 11:30am. I love him to pieces but I’m so ticked off right now. We’re supposed to go out for dinner tonight. I’m going to be wearing my best dress, probably spending 3+ hours doing my hair, make-up & getting ready … he probably won’t even notice. And it’s usually up to me to keep the conversation going. I can never tell if he’s just getting depressed from his bi-polar or if we’re growing apart. Fuck’n pisses me off ….

I just want him to hug me, say he loves me, that I look nice today or that he can’t wait to go on our date … is that too much to ask for? Apart from showing him this post; I’m out of ideas. I told him last night how I was feeling.

In fact! He was planning on going out of town to visit his family from last friday until tomorrow … if I hadn’t reminded him that valentines then he wouldn’t have even noticed. It’s just frustrating. It makes me want to not even go out tonight.

Why should I put so much effort into something that he won’t notice, or care about.

I’m crying … and it’s valentines day :(

January 25, 2012 • 318,772 notes • • okdubu

Reblog if you want your followers to ask you anything they’re curious about.

(via weird-ass)

January 25, 2012 •
In case anyone is wondering … I make all of my own posted photos using polyvore :) Injoy this fucked-up lion thing :D

In case anyone is wondering … I make all of my own posted photos using polyvore :) Injoy this fucked-up lion thing :D

January 25, 2012 •
I have been working nonstop after school to get 15 white, silk stoles made for my sorority. I’ll have to post some pics when I’m finished! I find sewing to be really relaxing. Up until yule I was using my grandmothers 1940’s sewing model. My mother-in-law bought me a brand new singer sewing machine! I fucking this woman!! :D I wish I had the same relationship with my blood mother, oh well. I’m making the stoles with a pattern I drew up myself! It’s got pointed ends and when it is hung over the shoulders of the sister there is a very deep pointed edge at the back (about mid-back length). I think stoles in sorority pictures look amazing.

I have been working nonstop after school to get 15 white, silk stoles made for my sorority. I’ll have to post some pics when I’m finished!

I find sewing to be really relaxing. Up until yule I was using my grandmothers 1940’s sewing model. My mother-in-law bought me a brand new singer sewing machine! I fucking this woman!! :D

I wish I had the same relationship with my blood mother, oh well.

I’m making the stoles with a pattern I drew up myself! It’s got pointed ends and when it is hung over the shoulders of the sister there is a very deep pointed edge at the back (about mid-back length). I think stoles in sorority pictures look amazing.

January 25, 2012 • 63 notes • • gettin-stronger

skinnygirlsareprettygirlsalways:

Reblog if you are a weight loss blog! Dash is dead! REBLOG 

(via c-o-m-e-0-n-s-k-i-n-n-y-l-o-v-e)

January 23, 2012 •
I love healthy food. I mean, it does taste great. I’m just too damn lazy to get off my arse to cook or make anything. It’s crazy how unmotivated you feel when your hungry, but then you go hungry because your unmotivated. Fuck depression. My grochery list for tomorrow: - 3 freash lemons - 3 oranges - 3 apples - spinach - 5 grain bread - mini-canned noname spicy thai tuna x 5 - Ketchup (ran out yesterday!)

I love healthy food. I mean, it does taste great. I’m just too damn lazy to get off my arse to cook or make anything.

It’s crazy how unmotivated you feel when your hungry, but then you go hungry because your unmotivated. Fuck depression.

My grochery list for tomorrow:

- 3 freash lemons

- 3 oranges

- 3 apples

- spinach

- 5 grain bread

- mini-canned noname spicy thai tuna x 5

- Ketchup (ran out yesterday!)

January 23, 2012 • • SoundCloud / Bassnectar
January 22, 2012 • 7,080 notes • • complex-mindz
complex-mindz: OKAY HERE IT IS YOU GUYS: Heres what I’m giving away: Macbook Air 13 inch brand new Brown brand new Coach purse Glittery Juicy Couture purse 3 Victoria Secrets hoodies- small Brand new Black UGG boots size 9 Rules: MUST BE FOLLOWING ME GIVEAWAY ENDS FEBRUARY 14, VALENTINES DAY I SHIP WORLD WIDE THE WINNER WILL BE MESSAGED AND IF THEY DONT REPLY WITHIN 24 HOURS I WILL PICK A NEW WINNER ONLY REBLOG 3 TIMES! LIKES DONT COUNT! AND AGAIN, MUST BE FOLLOWING ME!!! Okay, good luck you guys! :) Let’s hope my luck has changed! My laptop screen is smashed and I’ve never had a nice pair of shoes, especially uggs. hopefully I get this!!!!!!!!!!!

complex-mindz:

OKAY HERE IT IS YOU GUYS:

Heres what I’m giving away:

Macbook Air 13 inch brand new

Brown brand new Coach purse

Glittery Juicy Couture purse

3 Victoria Secrets hoodies- small

Brand new Black UGG boots size 9

Rules:

MUST BE FOLLOWING ME

GIVEAWAY ENDS FEBRUARY 14, VALENTINES DAY

I SHIP WORLD WIDE

THE WINNER WILL BE MESSAGED AND IF THEY DONT REPLY WITHIN 24 HOURS I WILL PICK A NEW WINNER

ONLY REBLOG 3 TIMES!

LIKES DONT COUNT!

AND AGAIN, MUST BE FOLLOWING ME!!!

Okay, good luck you guys! :)

Let’s hope my luck has changed! My laptop screen is smashed and I’ve never had a nice pair of shoes, especially uggs. hopefully I get this!!!!!!!!!!!

(via livingggg)

January 22, 2012 • 1 note •

Just me.: Living with it.

notagoddamnthing:

Living with Bipolar disorder, or so I’ve found, is a joke to some people. They think you’re making it up, you’re just stressed, or something else that doesn’t make much sense; it’s just so much more than that.

It’s the sense that you’re a shadow of your former self, you’re like a mirror that only…

It’s sad but yes there is a huge stigma with mental disorders. My fiance has type 1 bipolar. And he’s been ostracized because one asshole classmate found out about his mental illness. He’s been asked all sorts of stupid shit like “can’t you just control it?” or “your probably just having a bad day.” People are fucked. There’s too much hate in this world … not enough love <3

(via beardedjediknight-deactivated20)

January 22, 2012 •
Wanderlust. Yup I&#8217;ve got the itch. I live in a city with a pop of ~30,00 people. That&#8217;s a pretty small town. Everyone knows everyone. I want to get out, explore. My fiance and I had over $4000.00 saved up but after his first psychosis episode we lost our two-bedroom place, sold all of our stuff, and are now living in my grandmothers basement. I feel guilty living here. Every fucking day I feel guilty. I have one more year of college, then I&#8217;ll get a job as a police officer. Then we can move out and do some traveling. The $4000.00 I had to use on the last of our lease because Mr.F (my fiance) got fired because he was in the hospital for almost 2 months .. fucking assholes. We had a trip to Rome booked and everything. It was going to be perfect. Then fucking bi-polar reared it&#8217;s ugly-ass head and fucked with our lives. One day I&#8217;ll do a post regarding my fiances mental illness. I&#8217;m just not ready to talk about it yet. It&#8217;s been over 2 years and I still can&#8217;t even bring myself to go to a Councillor or group session &#8230; fuck. I wish me and Mr. F could just have a normal, happy, healthy life. That&#8217;s all I want. To not have to not eat for 2-3 days straight and lie to Mr.F that I have because I want to make sure that he has food with his medication. I want to run away, and never look back. I want a new life. A new beginning. I want to turn back time. But I can&#8217;t. Fucking wanderlust is driving me crazy today!

Wanderlust. Yup I’ve got the itch.

I live in a city with a pop of ~30,00 people. That’s a pretty small town. Everyone knows everyone. I want to get out, explore.

My fiance and I had over $4000.00 saved up but after his first psychosis episode we lost our two-bedroom place, sold all of our stuff, and are now living in my grandmothers basement. I feel guilty living here. Every fucking day I feel guilty. I have one more year of college, then I’ll get a job as a police officer. Then we can move out and do some traveling. The $4000.00 I had to use on the last of our lease because Mr.F (my fiance) got fired because he was in the hospital for almost 2 months .. fucking assholes. We had a trip to Rome booked and everything. It was going to be perfect. Then fucking bi-polar reared it’s ugly-ass head and fucked with our lives.

One day I’ll do a post regarding my fiances mental illness. I’m just not ready to talk about it yet. It’s been over 2 years and I still can’t even bring myself to go to a Councillor or group session … fuck.

I wish me and Mr. F could just have a normal, happy, healthy life. That’s all I want. To not have to not eat for 2-3 days straight and lie to Mr.F that I have because I want to make sure that he has food with his medication.

I want to run away, and never look back. I want a new life. A new beginning. I want to turn back time. But I can’t. Fucking wanderlust is driving me crazy today!